Happily "never" after part 6

10:50:00

Over the next few weeks, Ifemi and I made efforts to get our marriage on track. It seemed like we had drifted apart for too long and we had gotten used to doing things separately. I tried to put things to bed with Wale by discussing the hug and kiss with him but immediately I raised the issue, he just brushed it aside. I just concluded he probably just got carried away or maybe he did not even plan to kiss me anyway. Why make it such a big deal? I began to reduce our lunch dates though and hubby started coming to take me to lunch once in a while. Every thing was getting so rosy and I was having the time of my life in my marriage, until one day....

Ifemi went jogging that Saturday morning and left his phone at home. Out of boredom, I just started going through his phone. It had been so long since I checked his phone because it was always so boring. I was not prepared for what I saw. There was an unfamiliar name on his WhatsApp chat. Ifemi did not usually have female friends so seeing the name, Jadesolami was quite a shock. Who will my husband use such an endearment for? I then scrolled the chat way back to earlier messages. I just could not stop the tears. In the two months that Ifemi refused to speak to me, he had found comfort in the arms of another woman. They had shared such intimate chats, the likes of which hubby and I hardly ever wrote to each other even in our best moments. Hubby even wrote in one of his messages that he wished he had met her earlier. The fact that their last messages showed they had ended things was no consolation at all. She wrote that she misses Ifemi and she hopes that the marriage he left her to build was worth it and the only reply my darling hubby had given was that he misses her too and prays it all works out. I just could not fathom it. Ifemi that hardly even spoke to women. Just one simple mistake and he ran to another woman's arms. Nothing had ever prepared me for this. Something kept telling me that if he could forgive me for what I did, I should be able to forgive him too but I just refused to listen. he was supposed to be the faithful and responsible one. I wrote 20 sticky notes saying, "Jadesola misses you" and put it everywhere in the house, right from the front door to the fridge, table tops and everywhere stick-able. I took my car keys and drove straight to Wale's house. I did not even remember to call ahead to know if he was home. The tears wouldn't even stop. I could hardly see. Wale opened on the first knock and was so surprised to see me. He asked what happened and I told him all that happened amidst tears. He cuddled me on the sofa and rocked me to sleep.

By the time I woke up, I was on Wale's bed around 2pm. He must have carried me after I slept. It really was comforting to have such a friend. I looked around for my phone and did not find it so I went to the sitting room to find it. Wale was watching TV and he told me he had made me some rice since he knew I had not eaten. I knew ifemi would be worried and I asked for my phone. Wale said he had switched it off as Ifemi had not stopped calling. I felt rather uncomfortable that Wale just decided to switch off my phone but I also knew he was just looking out for me. By the time I put on my phone, I had 20 missed calls from Ifemi, my battery was already very low. I thought of calling him back but Wale advised me to let him stew for a while that I could bunk with him for as long as I wanted. I knew I could not do that so I decided I would go stay in a hotel later in the evening. Wale did not seem so pleased with the idea but there was nothing he could do so he went to serve me my food. I really could not eat the food as the tears started again. I was just disappointed in Ifemi. Wale came to sit by my side to stop my tears and that was when I felt his hands rubbing by back and then he started rubbing my laps. My first thought was of Ifemi's betrayal. I knew Wale was going to go all the way if I allowed him but was I willing to? Then I also was so angry with my hubby, all these months he made me feel so guilty over lying to him when he was busy being unfaithful? Why not just even the slate? I turned to Wale with all my anger and kissed him hard on the lips....

Happily "never" after part 5

10:46:00


After a while I stopped feeling miserable. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was not bottling up so much anymore. Wale had a great listening ear and could listen to my problems all day. Ifemi kept on giving me the worst attitude for another month and after a while I began to ignore him. After over 2 months of wasting so much food, I stopped cooking for him. In fact I stopped doing anything for him. We lived like strangers. It was such a surprise that we still slept in the same bed. We hardly said hello to each other. I preferred to even stay in the office late and gist with Wale. We had lunch and dinner together and I just went home to sleep most days. Wale even advised me that men were not that difficult and if Ifemi sees that his actions were no longer affecting me, he would change and that is exactly what happened.

After about two weeks of ignoring Ifemi, he came home one night and asked me to make dinner for him. I smiled in my mind and went to make him dinner. We ate together that night , he gisted me about his day in the office and we talked into the night. Eventually, the conversation drifted to what happened and Ifemi said he had forgiven me and wanted us to give our marriage another chance. I apologized again and he said now he knows the height of my stubbornness but loves me anyway. I wanted to tell him about my friendship with Wale at that point but it just felt like it would be a betrayal and I did not want to spoil the moment for us.I had so much fun because we gisted like old friends. We didn't even get to the bedroom before Ifemi started touching me. We were like high school kids having their first make out session. Very rushed but fun. We made love right there on the sitting room floor, cuddled and slept off there.

I came in to the office late the next morning after the beautiful night I just had. Wale came to see me immediately to check if I was okay.After all, I had been coming to work very early and closing really late just to avoid Ifemi. I did not plan to give him the full gist of what had happened but Wale said he wouldn't leave my office till he got the full story. I was so excited anyway to hold it in. I gave him the full story of how hubby and I made up and even had make up sex on the sitting room floor. Wale was so excited about it and told me how proud he was of me. He said now that my husband is back now, my work husband can take a bow right? I assured him he was still my bestie whenever Ifemi was naughty. As we walked out of my office together, Wale surprisingly pulled me for a hug and while I was still wondering what the hug was for, he planted a kiss on my lips. He walked out while my mouth was still open. I was really confused. It wasn't that the kiss was not nice, quite the opposite. I just did not understand why Wale will kiss me now that Ifemi and I are getting our marriage back on track. I really did not know what to do but telling Ifemi seemed out of the question now that we were just recovering, I simply could not make him distrust me again. I decided talking to Wale about it seemed like a better option.......

Happily "never" after part 3

10:39:00

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 3

I woke up with a smashing headache and confusing thoughts. I looked around and there he was, sitting quietly by my hospital bedside lost in thoughts. I quickly closed my eyes and remembered all I was thinking about before my accident. I was going to sneak out tomorrow morning to go remove the IUD before our doctor's appointment. Wait, I don't even know how long I have been out for. I have to check my phone at least to check the date. I opened my eyes and he saw me. I wish I could freeze that moment. The joy in his eyes, the smile on his face was priceless. How could I have made this man I love so much sad these past years, waiting earnestly for a child I purposely did not give him. How will he ever trust me again. If there is one thing I know about Ifemi, he never tolerates lies. He stood up and gave me a very big kiss on the lips. The doctor came in at that moment and assured us everything is fine and we can go home in another day or two. I had been out  for up to 24 hours so they had to just monitor my progress.

Ifemi then asked the doctor what I feared most; Doc, we were scheduled to see a gynecologist today before to have a check up and make sure everything is fine as we have been trying to have a baby. Do you think we can run those tests now since we are already in the hospital? The doctor said they'll come by later to run some scans and left. There is no escape now, no secret way to avoid being caught in this big lie. I am so scared right now. How do I face him? The next day,I was feeling much stronger and the tests had been done. Ifemi came into my room with the doctor, I had to force him to go home to sleep last night. The doctor said he wanted to talk to us both about the results of the tests they ran on me. He started by saying, Mrs Babalola, when exactly did you fix your IUD? Ifemi said, what is IUD? I could not even look at his face while the doctor explained to him what an IUD was and he was arguing that of course I did not do it as we have been trying to have children. I saved him further embarrassment and told the doctor it has been 3 years.

Ifemi looked at me and said, Ibukun what do you mean 3 years? You fixed a contraceptive without informing me? You lied to me and made me put in so much effort looking for a child? You seriously did that? I did not even know what to say. The doctor then said, Mr Babalola, that is the least of your worries, the problem now is that there has been some complications with the IUD. This is a rare complication and we rarely see this occur but unfortunately, we are now faced with this situation. We have found that your IUD has shifted from its original position and has now  migrated through the opening of your right Fallopian tube. We would have to perform some surgeries to actually get it removed and the earlier we do that the better so as not to totally affect your chances of getting pregnant. I stared at the doctor in disbelief, I could not even begin to comprehend what he was saying. I have so many friends that have fixed this same IUD and nothing has ever happened. Are you sure there is no mistake here? The doctor then tried to explain about how this was a rare complication and all but I just was not listening anymore. I looked at Ifemi's eyes and I could see the judgment in his eyes. I came off my bed and held him begging but he looked at me and said, it was your decision, fix it anyhow you like and he walked out. I just cannot believe this is happening. The tears won't stop falling. All I wanted was to delay pregnancy for a while, I knew I shouldn't have lied to my husband but how was I to know I would have such a complication. I am so lost right now, I don't even know what to do. Will Ifemi ever come back? Am I even still married? My phone started ringing and I looked at the phone and saw it was my mother in law. Oh God! Ifemi must have called...

Diary of a single Ibo girl part 15

05:44:00

"Happy Anniversary babe", I felt someone nibble my ears as I struggled to open my sleepy eyes.
" Hmmm ", I had mumbled as I stretched over to the other side of the bed.
" Wakey wakey sunshine", Mike had tickled me back to reality. I smiled as I met his gaze. Chai!! My fine China.
He held a bottle of fine wine over my face.
"Nna, what are we celebrating kwanu"? I had asked in a mimicked ibo accent.
" Nne, we are celebrating love o" he had answered in same manner. We both laughed.

I was now seated on the bed, facing him directly. He moved closer to me and held my hands, his gaze never leaving mine.

"It's 6months today since you came into my life and you've brought me nothing but happiness... I love you with everything I live for" A tear dropped off his eye. I smiled. I probably had taught him how to drop tears when being emotional. Lol. This man loves me shamelessly.
"It's actually 5months and 3weeks o. Because we broke up for a week" I had said sarcastically, in a bid to ease the tension. My heart was skipping frantically. We both laughed again... Then became silent as he held my hand tightly. I could feel him shudder a bit.

"You're my first real MIRACLE", he had continued as he moved closer and planted a kiss on my lips. We hugged for what seemed like forever.
" Guy, propose already na" I thought to myself. We obviously are into each other, and the future is so bright for us, so why the delay? Abi 6 months is too short?? Hian!! As these thoughts ran through my heard, I heard something like;

"Will you marry me, Nkem"?

Wait!!! What?? Is it still my thought??

" Huh"?? I asked, looking up to him now.

"I cannot afford to live one more day without you. Please do forever with me" Mike repeated.

I bursted out in tears.
Yes!! I was going to get married to the man of my dreams.
"Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!" I answered excitedly, stretching out my finger. Oh my lawd!! This isn't happening!!!

"Errrrmmm... Baby, I've not gotten a ring yet. I just couldn't wait anymore to ask you. I don't want to make mistakes in your ring size. I want it perfect. We'll go get a ring later", he continued.

I just kept looking at him, not knowing if I should laugh or cry some more.
He doesn't know my finger size??

Just negodu!

Getting it right

04:19:00

I keep seeing guys rant about girls being slay mamas, gold diggers, oloshos and so many vulgar words used to qualify women nowadays... Well, I don't blame them. If only girls of this generation would love God, work hard, get developed morally, acquire skills to boost their self confidence, then maybe... You'll see a man as a "bonus" and not a "goal".

People these days have misplaced priorities. In the beginning, it wasn't so. The first thing God gave man (Adam) was work before giving him a woman (Eve). The first thing God gave a woman was a man (Adam).

It's such a shame the tables have turned around. A lot of men get married for convenience not love. Women now work their asses out just to meet up to a man's standard. No!!! You're not supposed to do that... Your goal is to be virtuous... Not rich!!! Read about the qualities of a virtuous woman. A man is supposed to love and a woman is supposed to submit.

Therefore, if a man has got no job, cannot provide for you, is not in God's presence, cannot make you better, doesn't have vision... It is VERY good for that man to be ALONE... Sister, leave him alone!!! Otherwise, he shouldn't be alone.

Likewise, sisters if you don't have your " default settings" intact, don't expect to get a "default settings" man.
Even with all the "sweet nothing's" a man has to say to you, you still need the spirit of discernment.

Being single won't kill you. Getting married won't heal you either. Waiting on God is NEVER a waste of time. Because at the end, God is still the CENTRE of it all. Somehow, someway, you'd need him to fix it all for you.

So on my bended knees, I lift my hands up to heaven and boldly declare that I surrender my need for love, my desire for companionship. I give up trying to be lovable and decide to trust God with all of my heart. This is my confession. Amen.

PS: Never let societal pressure push you into the hands of the wrong one. Stop being desperate because "your mates" are getting married. Do you also know "your mates" are dying everyday?? Focus on being a better person and be grateful to God for life.

Shalom.

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10:35:00
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Diary of a single Ibo girl part 14

13:20:00

I rang the bell again; this time around holding the button for a longer period. Seconds later, the door flung open and there he was!! Lord have mercy! I had missed this man so much. There was this strong urge to grab him and hold him tightly but the "ogbanje" part of me was resisting that urge.

He stood at the door staring expressionlessly at me. I couldn't fathom what was going through his big head. I noticed he has lost a little weight... "Eeya, dude hasn't been eating well" I thought to myself. Somehow I felt relieved and some sense of guilt over his weight loss (at least it showed that he had missed me and no girl was cooking for him). Mike is actually a terrible cook and at a point I stopped him from eating out because I was always stocking the refrigerator with food. He was also wearing one of the T-shirts I had gotten for him.
"Hi" he had finally said.
My heart skipped.
"Calm down, calm down" I had cautioned myself.
"I brought back your keys" I managed to say, stretching out my hands to give him the keys, and trying as much as possible to avoid his gaze.
He stood still, not making any attempt to take the keys from me.
Now staring fixedly at him, I summoned courage and said bluntly
"Guy, take these keys from me jare. My hand is paining me"
"Me, guy?" He had asked, chuckling a bit.
"Abeg collect these keys jor, I have important things to do" I said frowning and hoping he wouldn't collect them. I've missed my man, dayum!!!

Still he didn't make any attempt.

I threw the keys to the ground and as I made to walk away, he grabbed me.
"Come here jare. So if I leave you now, you'll go, abi?" He was facing me squarely and very closely. I was weak. The Lord that answers prayers just answered mine. He held me closely and hugged me tightly. I could feel his heart beat fast.
"God, I've missed you terribly" he whispered to my ear.
A tear drooped from my eye. I love this man.
He smelled so nice; even my "ogbanje" had no choice but to bask in the masculinity and beauty of this man.

Before i could say a word, he swiftly lifted me up and as we made for the door, I saw the bunch of keys lying graciously on the ground waiting for me to come pick it up because as far as I knew, that key had  belonged to me for a long while and for good and it would always bring me back here.

I smiled mischievously.

The main chic's side chic part 1

05:35:00
I had just gotten out of the toilet to the insistent ringing of my phone. I had heard my phone ring almost 4times but the candy crush I was playing wouldn't let me leave the toilet seat. No, I wasn't easing myself in anyway in there... I just needed to finish that addictive game, and without distractions... Especially from my mum. She just hates it whenever I play with my tablet or phone. She would barge into the room just to check what I was doing. That day, in had decided to spend "quality time" in the toilet. After checking up on me twice and seeing I was still there, she called out.
"Bia, Peace, ogini ka 'ina eme na toilet okembe otutu. Phone gi na e ringi la". (Come Peace, what r u doing in the toilet. Your phone has been ringing)
She actually believed I was pooing because my phone was on the table.
" I'm purging", I shouted back, faking a sound like I was really purging.
When I was sure she had left, I came out.
My phone kept ringing. It was a strange number. I don't usually save numbers, as I have almost all my contacts in my head (well, I'm numerically inclined). I quickly did a search in my head, but the numbet still seemed strange. I decided to pick and figure it out from the voice.
"Hello, good evening" I had answered.
"Good evening. Am I speaking with Peace"? I heard a female voice from the other end, in a rather harsh tone.
" Yes, please" I answered politely. It's not every time I get to receive calls from a female, especially a stranger. So I needed to sound nice. It could be work related or customer service... Lol.
"Peace, leave Michael alone"
(that's not his real name tho but I would rather use Michael. Dunno why I love that name sha).
" Leave my boyfriend alone. He doesn't love you. All those promises and sweet nothings he said to you are all lies. He would never leave me for you" she continued.
I was quiet, and my heart skipped a bit. I've heard stories of girls threatening other girls over a guy and I usually laughed it off but this is happening to me...
"Are you there"? She had asked. Probably making sure I was feeling her threats.
" Yes, please who is this"? I had asked.
"I'm Michael's girl, infact I'm his fiancé" she responded, pronouncing the "fiance" with some kind of accent.
"Fiance"? I asked.
" Yes, fiance..." She tried to continue but I cut her short. This was gonna be fun. I thought to myself.
"I thought " fiancé " is for the guy" I said, chuckling a bit.
I guess she didn't find that funny.
"You are stupid!" she blurted out
"See let me tell you. You have no idea whom you're dealing with o. Go and ask of " (she called her full names. I later checked her out on FB. An extremely beautiful girl, I must confess).
"I've been with Michael for 9years. We live together. He wakes up on my bed, eats my food. We've been thru a lot. So if you think you can just come and take all these away, then you must be joking. I'll find you and haunt you down, don't ever call him again" She kept ranting.
"Wow! 9 years! Girl, you are strong! Michael is wicked o, how can he date a girl for a whole 9years and still make her this insecure"? I had asked sarcastically.
" You are a fool" she cursed
"Makes the two of us" I replied.
She hissed and ended the call.
I tried calling back cos I wasn't done. She ignored and sent a msg "FOOL".
I decided to send a msg.
" How can you be with a man for that long and you're still fighting over him? Why would you allow him put you in this position? Girl you deserve better. I've known Michael for a while now and I must say he's got a good heart but 9years? Ha! That's wicked na. He tells me everything and he told me about you but he didn't tell me more. I actually have a boyfriend and he's cheated before but I wouldn't  go about calling or threatening a fellow woman. I don't know if your threats were supposed to scare me but I was rather amused. Don't worry, I'm going to call Michael now and lash out on him for putting you through this turmoil. I'll talk some sense into him. He needs to do the right thing by you. And I know he listens to me. You know that too, ryt? But really? 9 years? Come, babe, are you sure you're not exaggerating? Na wa o".
I sent the msg. Few mins later, she sent a msg
"Clown"!
I called Michael
" Mama Peace" he answered excitedly.
"Where are you, that place is noisy" I asked like a boss.
"Sorry ma, lemme shift" he replied.
He went to a more quiet place.
"What's up"? He asked.
Please send me airtime. I want to call and tell you something.
" Okay ma. How much"? He asked.
"1k". I replied.
" OK, give me some mins". He said
I ended the call.
Few mins later, a msg came. It was the recharge pins.
I smiled. 
Continue to read part2 here>>http://www.peacedike.com/2017/02/the-main-chic-side-chic-part-2.html?m=1

Happily Never After part 2

00:16:00


The next day, I went to the hospital during lunch hour and fixed IUD as a protection. After all, the lack of contraceptive against pregnancy is the beginning of foolishness. I could not trust Ifemidayo to not get me pregnant intentionally and he would never support any permanent contraceptive so I just did it anyway. I’ll take it off codedly when I am ready. After that day, I stopped arguing with him about having babies. In fact, the next time he raised the issue, I simply said okay. He would never know I have sorted myself. Ifemidayo began to take special care of me after then. He would buy me fruits, make sure I took enough vegetables, read everything and anything about women trying to have babies. He made me start taking folic acid at some point in the hope that it would prepare my body for pregnancy. The sex was very regular and it was fun for me. He even started making me calculate my ovulation period. After one year of making so much effort, Ifemi started getting worried. I thought about telling him about the contraceptive I have fixed but work was more hectic than I thought and I could not jeopardize that yet especially now that we were building our own house. How would I support him if I lost my job? I thanked God for the wonderful in laws I have because Ifemi’s mum is truly one of those mothers that does not intrude. There was a time I even felt bad because the pastor recommended a 7days fast in church for people that want children. Ifemi made sure we did the fast. I joined him in doing that but I used the opportunity to pray for other things.

My Manager suddenly knocks on my door and that cuts into my thoughts. Ibukun, “have you done the 3D designs for Glamour concepts Ltd yet? Yes sir, I am bringing it to the meeting now. I looked at my watch. It is time for Friday meeting. I was totally lost in thought sha. I didn’t even know I had been sitting on my desk for 2 hours already. I got busy with work all through that day and I didn’t get back to my thoughts until my drive home at 7pm that night. Sometime last year, I finally decided I wanted to have children. It was not fun seeing Ifemi suffer and seeing all my friends cute babies wasn’t helping matter either. I decided to take out the IUD but I still haven’t gotten around to it yet. This morning, Ifemi called me that he has booked an appointment for us tomorrow to see a gynaecologist and do some check up to make sure all is well. I have tried for so long to avoid this but today, he was very adamant. I am thinking maybe I should just tell him about the contraceptive or try and remove it early in the morning before we go to the appointment t 2pm. I do not even want to imagine Ifemi’s reaction and actions if I tell him. I will quietly remove it in the morning. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t see the truck parked in the middle of the road, all I heard was the crash and I just blacked out. My last thoughts were of my beloved.

Read part 1 here:
http://www.peacedike.com/2017/02/happily-never-after-part-1.html?m=1

Happily Never After part 1

09:56:00

My name is Ibukun, you can just call me Ib as that is what I am called by everybody anyway. I am seated on my desk in this office this Friday morning reflecting on my life these past 5 years. The mistakes I made, the decisions I took and how this job that meant the whole world to me has suddenly become a burden.
I remember the day I met my husband here in the city of Abuja, I came for my job interview and he had come to have a meeting with one of the marketers. He could see how nervous I was sitting at the reception waiting to be called that he offered to wait and take me for a drink afterwards. I gave him the meanest look I could muster and told him to mind his business. See me preparing my mind for the biggest job interview of my life and there he was chasing a woman. I composed myself and went in for the interview with my laptop almost falling from my hands. I could already tell they loved all the samples of my designs I showed them from the looks on their faces. After all, I am fully invested in my profession as an architect and this kind of opportunity trust me, is not common. I showed them some beautiful 3D designs and drafted floor plans. I came out all smiling and confident.
I went to the road to hail a taxi and Lo and behold, he had been waiting for me.
That was how Ifemidayo began to capture my heart. We had a very interesting relationship. he was everything I had been looking for in a man. He was gentle, hardly ever got angry for more than an hour and never even pressured me about sex. He was such a gentleman. To seal it up my family loved him. It even seemed like my parents and my siblings loved him more than me. Ifemi as I called him was the ideal man for me. Two years later, we got married in Lagos where my family home is and then we travelled to Dubai for our honeymoon. I had been working for 2 years now and my job was very well paying so we could afford a reasonable wedding and a nice honeymoon. Ifemi had a good job too with a consulting firm. It was one of these coded firms in Abuja that had plenty money to pay their staff. We were comfortable, we were in love and we loved God. It seemed like nothing could go wrong. We rented a nice two bedroom flat in Gwarinpa about a month before the wedding and we both had our cars already so all was set for a great life ahead. We came back to Abuja after the honeymoon to live happily ever after... or so we thought...

Life couldn’t have been better for us. I got a promotion about a month after the wedding. Ifemi started talking about having children but I just could not imagine that yet. I just got promoted to the position of assistant manager. Work would definitely become hectic so getting pregnant would just mess up my plans. One night, we came back from work and just finished having dinner and we had this big conversation, I remember it vividly like it was yesterday even though it was 3 years ago. Ifemi said, “IB we can’t just postpone starting a family indefinitely just because of your job. You knew I wanted a family as soon as we got married. You knew this right from the start. You used to feel the same way and I don’t get why you are suddenly having a change of heart”. I was so angry that day; I just did could not get what the whole fuss was about. I told him straight on, “Now I see why they say men are so selfish. You know how much this promotion means to me and suddenly you just can’t give me a break. I told you my work schedule will become hectic because of this new position. All I have asked for is a year to settle in before I start pumping babies. Now we are married, you think whatever you desire is law? Ifemidayo, you are joking. Except it is not my body that will carry the babies, that is when you can be getting impatient. As for me, I am not ready and that is final.” I looked into my husband’s eyes and I had never seen such anger in him before. I expected him to lash out in more anger but he just quietly turned and went to bed. I was proud of myself for making my point clear. I just felt Ifemi was being selfish just because our salaries would be the same with this new promotion I got.